Thursday, August 22, 2013

I miss...

So I started this blog to document my experience of traveling abroad for a semester of my university studies in Bamberg, Germany. Well, it only lasted for a couple months of the trip, but I can tell you the experience has stuck. I miss it. I miss my friends. I miss the food. The people. The cool weather. Walking everywhere. The mentality. The festivals. The views. The ability to travel so easily.

...Of course all of that came with very little responsibility attached and a very fair budget to work with.

Reality, aka, "adult life" just sucks by comparison. I hated hearing my parents say "just wait until you're in the REAL world." And you know what? I could have waited. I SHOULD have waited.

Because now, I'm not just missing Germany, but I'm missing learning. I'm missing the freedoms I had in college to just pick up and go wherever and whenever I could make it happen. I could make more choices then. Now, I have all of these decisions that I HAVE to make, but I don't want to make.

[Wow, does it sound like I'm whining yet?]

Forgive my moment of hypocrisy, but no I don't regret the choice I made to graduate early. I DO regret the choice I made to jump straight into full time work. I should have taken some more time to absorb the fact that I am an adult, to realize all of the responsibility that was about to come crashing down on me, that the university wouldn't be there to protect me from anymore. To do some more exploring - self exploring; post-grad and pre-real world.

I still probably wouldn't have figured out exactly what I want to do with my life, and working full time for almost two years now has given me an opportunity to experience a lot and to reconnect with some of the things I had forgotten I loved. But now that all of this is my life, it makes it that much harder to make a change. [I am by NO means comparing my situation to others, I am speaking only on behalf of myself.]

What is the line to determine if the choices I am making are settling/staying in my comfort zone or running away/challenging me?

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