Friday, July 12, 2013

Contemplative vs. Content

I've been contemplating a lot lately... for those that know me, that's pretty much just how I am. I think a lot. As the saying goes it's a curse and a blessing - it means that I am usually responsible and reliable yet at the same time it often takes the spontaneity and mystery out of life. I often complain about thinking too much and feeling the pressure of society to do more and be more, do this or do that. Yet, at the same time, I believe that I am not truly content either.

So what's the balance? To be content with the life I have now, continuously working under the pressures of this ever growing and infiltrating society? Or to do more and be more but in my own terms?

Sounds like a simple answer, right?

But like I said, I'm rather responsible... and it takes a lot for me to take a leap of faith. I guess the problem right now is that I am lacking in faith that everything will be okay if I strike out on the path less traveled. Problem is, I can't see where it will lead. And of course, you can never see exactly how things will turn out, but some paths are more shaded in the distance than others.

Right now I feel like I am walking in circles, or pacing in front of the scarecrow of the Wizard of Oz, with the Cheshire cat of Alice in Wonderland whispering in my ear twisted words of advice. The battle between being happy with what you have becoming "settling" and taking a risk that may end up losing everything you know.